They're gone now. After 28 years of having children under one roof, they are gone.... into their own houses, their individual kitchens, brewing up their own dinner concoctions, scheming ways to pay their own insurance. It's heavenly...a sense of accomplishment, like reaching the Indiana shoreline after having swam the breath of Lake Michigan, starting from the Glencoe beach. Momentarily I entertained swimming back again by taking in a foster kid or offering a room to unwed mothers but that passed quickly enough. Pimped slapped myself back into my pseudo-reality.
The squeaking cicadas have replaced the television babble, the whirring blender , the ever persistent clickclickclick of the video game controls. Even though there is no escaping their incessant creeking... the madness of monotonous noise.. in some ways it is soothing, getting lost in the drone....and yet, this tradeoff, an exchange of sounds offers sanctuary in knowing they are not singing to me.
I am standing on the edge of an abyss...able to free fall into the unknown of tomorrow without a concern for any dinner menu or scanning the paper for coupons. Wondering 'and what will you do, Ms. Martinez, to fill these open ended minutes?' Ah, I will experiment gliding on the winds, try to catch an up-draft and pray I don't slam into a rock face while I experiment with my new found wings.
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